I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This is my gift to your gina
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
