C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
