how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
