I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
