I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
