Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
