i just google imaged poop.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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