Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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