i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Drunk is not a location!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
