to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
