Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize