Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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