I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
