He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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