Since when is my name a synonym for head?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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