I feel like I'm in dance class right now
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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