She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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