My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
