No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
