when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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