I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
