Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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