Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
