Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.

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(916): View more from California

He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.

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(714): View more from California

My liver just had a heart attack.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.

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(510): View more from California

Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.

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(469): View more from Texas

The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"

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(404): View more from Georgia

i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.

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(813): View more from Florida

I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.

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