I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize