your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
