So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
