im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
