so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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