my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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