i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize