I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
