Someone shit on the floor
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
