Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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