worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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