dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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