a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
