adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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