What did we do last night that was yellow?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
