your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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