He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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