I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize