it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
