Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
