Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
