Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
im holly from the hills drunk
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
