Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
