this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
