Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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