Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
