I wish I only lived at night.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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