we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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