with your own penis?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
