hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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