craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
