she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
