I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
