gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
