I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We are two peas in an std pod
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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