oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
