Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
