I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
