Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize