Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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