I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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