Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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