You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
