Just cropdusted the office
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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